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Death Be Not Proud"Death be not proud" said he
Nor mighty, nor dreadful
for without sorrow, no question of me
No reason follows the will to be
A decent down the tumultuous funnel
Falling skies, and desperate cries
Its only temporary, when it crumbles
Blinding lights, in the darkest tunnel
Amongst the crowd, so alone
Impervious to the powers of peace
Sit upon the liars throne
Refuse to smell the flowers you've grown
Fall into your pit of defeat
You muddied the ground
You ended your street
Drift into your self deceit
Stare at the mirror of lies
Shatter the glass that speaks so loud
No success in all your tries
Yet, you still refuse to swat at the flies?
Now its time for you to sleep
Your dreams of death, feel so weak
Your chosen end now all shall weep
Because, you wallowed in the hole you dug deep
Mirror of DoubtMirror of doubt
Spreading sorrow throughout
Rearrange my synapse
On to the floor I collapse
Words are meaningless so them seem
Not even safe within a dream
Emotional complex wrecks me
Among all I know and all I see
Mask away from the fraudulent truths
This sinister feeling from my youth
Words among me express "relax"
Unable to follow this syntax
Silent cries and invisible tears
A downcast of judgment shadowing me for years
I'll make you laugh, Make you smile
Inside I die all the while
Rotting flesh and translucent bones
Loosely hearing your malicious tones
Build walls around this hollow ground
Fear the words, for inside they pound
The mirror that I loathe to see
Resides something deep inside of me
They should not know, they would not dare
For more or less they will not care...
Poem- Out of ControllMonstrosity on fire
Compulsion of pyre
A frantic romantic
Mental block, so thick
Manic and panic
Take me from my Devastation
Hide behind masculinity
Make her smile, follow weep
Only peace when she follows in sleep
Question me, for what is see
Ask why I stand beside thee
As monstrosity on fire, compulsion of pyre
To say less then I love you, Call me a liar
Poem- DistanceI hate all this distance
The reoccurring instance
Every attempt I make
Denied, for fucks sake
Frustration is complete
For family I must compete
Ownership I do not claim
Just a day, I want to gain
Left alone, feed my mind
Tumultuous anger makes me blind
Bring a gift, my temper, a fit
Alone again, my hands on which I sit
Days closing in, try and try
Left to wonder, beginning to cry
Stomach in knots, firm clenched fist
Feeling the pulse bursting through your wrist
Distance the enemy, destruction of we
The protruding veins I wish you cant see
Traveling in an immobile destination
Please remove my mental devastation
An excerpt from my Dream JournalThe dream that has affected me the most that I can still remember perfectly to this day took place April 16, 2012 between the times of 3:30a.m and 5:00a.m.
It was a typical day full of stupidity and jackass like antics around the 25thave phoenix area. My best friend had arrived back from a marine tour to Okinawa, Japan and we decided to celebrate by have an old fashion sleep over. The day slowly wined down as we stared at his vintage 1984 wooden panel TV set playing Xbox360 videogames like mindless drones. The TV was so old and worn, wooden panels slowly unsticking themselves from the faded black plastic frame. Approximately 3ft to the right of the TV set was a double door swinging inwards. The right door was permanently locked due to a hardwood, tan, table that held the rooms' ceramic lamp in dead center.
Across from the desk, parallel to the TV was a 4ft Wooden desk with an Iron pegged, wooden chair that would creak at the slightest touch upon the back rest. Between this trian
Poem- Just Another Case of FearA mental calamity
Such anxiety ridden
No longer can be hidden
A life threatening possession
Fear, my true confession
Serenity, peace, over and done
Waves of doom
Ill feel the pulsing soon
Walls close in, ever so daring
A kill thrill
Breath stands still
A death envy
And desperate cries
Fear smiling, always hinting
Forgive me father for i have sin
For again i let my monsters win
Unable to stand
Forehead reasting upon knees
God help me please
Make the demons go away
Forever now, not some other day
Hold me close and comfort me
Please release this deathly grip on me
Poem- Because I Love HerFor I wish a smile
Upon her face
No jury no trial
Overwhelmed, Happiness in her place
Reading a closed book
Sit in silence, wait for the call
Taste compassion, just with one look
...The sweetest of them all
Tender lies of sweet truth
A Happy hidden recluse
My spirit sores, no boundaries no roofs
Her timid fear i wish to reduce
Awaken young child
See what gifts i bring for you
Your reality based fears oh so mild
soften your heart is all i can do
Realism is brings mind death
open up to me see what i bring
Release all fear with one deep breath
My only goal is to make your heart sing
Love, contagion of cluster
Surrender unto me oh timid and clear
Dont let your fear bring a emotional fluster
For when you are happy you will know im near
I wish for hope
Continuous mental melodies
With life you can cope
I will dull the extremities
Words of truth are what i write
I will push this so much further
This love may bring a fright
I will not give up, because i love her
Poem - YOUExplanations of how I feel
Your presence is surreal
The unforgiving mind
Never acted so kind
Clamoring, wretched...the beast within
Fear fades, happiness will begin
Vocalize silent cries
Your eyes speak, your love my prize
Anger seethes, brood remorse
Your tenderness, redirects my course
Pave my way
Into a brighter future, A brand new day
Tumultuous, disastrous, spirit falls
Head lifts to your rejuvenating calls
Words of truth and care
Bring me out of the this hell, despair
A vortex, the mind slaughter
Ive met an angel, not someones daughter
Fear, the mind killer
Your being is not a lonesome filler
Emptied veins, replenished, sewn shut
Your pain brings my deepest cut
Smile for me oh dear divine
smile because...you know your mine
Poem- A Feast for the Slow DieingTheres nothing much more for me to say
For I wish for time and day to fade away
To end this life
With the jagged morose-full knife
Come one, come all
Drink as much as you need
Trepidatious and wet
Careless, no need to fret
No sorrow, no pain
The empty vessel that once was my vain
Clear and emotionless
Watch the hungry
With beauty they confess
Lap up the blood, what a mess
Only truth, no lies
Fade, yet glimmer
The final release of this so called sinner
As the last of the minutes begin to close in
Lasting breathes begin to thin
Pupils shiver, eyes close
Skin so cold, as if it froze
The feast stalls, silence strikes
limbs removed, placed on wooden pikes
Gather around, see the man that used to be
In pieces dreams, now he is free
MeId rather be me and have few friends then have many friends but don't know who the person that is looking back at me in the mirror
Briny HymnBriny Hymn
as I bathe
all that is
in silvery light,
I lure the tide
to lap the shore.
and the moon
calls out to me
to caress the sand
in a watery blanket.
so I filter through,
washing every golden bead clean;
sand resting soundly
in my crevices.
I shimmer upon slumbering forms
far below, on the firmament.
I conduct my nighttime symphony
in perfect harmony,
the wolves wail,
the cicadas chirrup,
the owls cry out
and ravens rove.
and I add my own notes
to the sound of Mother nature's tunes.
crashing down wave after wave;
the bass of the impact
echoes through the shoreline
as I leave records of the wind.
sailors and marine creatures alike,
understand the jagged beauty
of my blustering anthem.
only the foggy blanket
can dampen my spirit,
and immerse my song
in the suffocating depths.
I've never struggled so much
to be heard above the dissonance.
my frost smoke layers
are becoming too much for her.
I do what I have done to so m
How To Be A WriterMy parents said I shouldn't be a writer,
and throughout the last few weeks
of scarcely sprawling stray thoughts
on the napkins that line my trash bin,
I'm inclined to believe them.
Without a medical degree folded in my back pocket,
my wallet's looking a lot thinner;
I'm left with an abused and worn vocabulary
sagging on the edge of its seat,
stinking of whatever poison-laced shock value
I inject into my phrases,
and festering in the melodrama
of a teenage conspiracy theorist's soul.
(It smells kinda like rebellion, miniskirts, black nails, and rolling eyes.)
I hate to be the cliche of a struggling artist,
But a cliche is better than a nobody, or so I've read;
So at least it's something to hold on to.
My notebook is growing blanker by the sunrise,
and with every passing week,
my head falls on a layer of bills
instead of silk-lined sheets.
My pen's ink has started to boil and rot
on the other side of my writer's block,
and though my thin career is a hard pillow to accept,
even harder wou
danse macabreIn the end they were all the same
they sat on whitewashed church steps,
toeing the ground in resignation,
hoping their furtive glances
to the left and to the right
would go unnoticed by
the stronger and more stable man
a few steps closer to the doors.
The flood of people became a trickle,
just a dribbling until
the last man -
somehow they knew he was the last
settled onto the lawn
and in unison the crowd rose.
There was no leader to the band, though
the closest was the beggar
who had expected this day
more than any other.
He was flanked by a lawyer,
a doctor and a thief.
They exchanged silent glances;
a new clarity reflected in ancient faces
as they lifted their heads together and
trudged on as one.
Here they gather,
scuff and shuffle;
lock eyes and make peace with equality.
Where did you go?Where did you go? I miss you so!
Where did you go? Do you remember your family?
Where did you go? Why did you have to pop that one pill which started everything?
Where did you go? I don't recognize you anymore!
Where did you go? All the black outs, fights, stealing from your loved ones, stealing your daughter's Christmas presents just cuz you needed to chase that stardust.
Where did you go? You couldn't get enough.
Where did you go? To heaven.
Where did you go? What am I going to tell our daughter?
liesYou said love you-lies
You said you're the only one-lies
Well guess what I lied too-
There ain't gonna be a forever- you can have that with your white trash ho
yells for helpI'm reaching out to someone anyone
I am anxiety ridden
I feel the walls around me are crashing down
Mom- I'm making myself throw up to see if my problems disappear
why cant you hear my yells for help?
Dad- I am about to do something I am about to regret
it's the only way I can release torture that's inside, slit my wist
why cant you hear my yells for help?
Sis- I'm about to chug this bottle to try to disappear
why cant you hear my yells for help?
Bro- please I'm about to take these pills where I can leave this life
why cant you hear my yells for help?
Can you hear my yells for help now when you are looking at me six feet under
Flowery SkinsWe pull apart
In the name
But if it's true,
And our lover
Loves us not...
Do we become
A little girl strides over,
Her face a river of tears
As she picks us up -
She begins to tear us apart,
Petals of an innocent white,
As she sobs in a saddened rage -
One by one, we're torn like skin,
Feeling the pain similar to that
Of the scars on her picking hands -
Carefully, we fall to the ground,
Splattered with our blood of life,
Put in the place of our murderer -
And as she finds her answer,
Realizing that he loves her not,
We are left to rot like a broken heart.
Where did the time go?I just found out that I was pregnant with you now i am seeing you for the first time, where did the time go?
You're sitting up for the first time, where did the time go?
You're crawling, where did the time go?
You're walking, where did the time go?
No more diapers, where did the time go?
You're starting preschool, where did the time go?
Now your six years old and your going into first grade, time is so precious before i know it your going to be a teenager and im gonna miss those times where your gonna need me all time.
Mommy loves you to the moon and back and I will always be there no matter what the time is!
Poem- MusicYour melodies
My one true love
My endless happiness
My journey through sound
My white noise
Coaxing me to sleep
A message in every verse
A smile behind every word
A literature of gold
My silver lining
My acoustic heaven
My silent hell
You are my happiness
My everlasting scar
Always apart of me
Always by my side
Its a pleasure to have you
To finally meet you
To finally to feel you
Thy name is music
Keep in Touch!