|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
I.Am.Not.An.ArtistI am not an artist
I do not believe I am someone with a creative mind
someone who can make something so bland into something so magnificent
I am not that
I will never be that
I see art and the world it is in
and I see nothing
I see no beauty
just shapes and colors
I do not see the beauty someone has created
or the depth and emotion that is hidden between the lines
I don’t see how someone can see so much within so little
to be able to create a life by just a few lines
and to be able to recreate something with their minds
I wish I could be able to do this
just a little of this
but I am not an artist
I am my own person
unrequitedyou make my words
gather at the hollows
of my throat
until i choke on them.
my fingers ache to
but my eyes ache to
you're nothing but heart break
wrapped in a bow
of something beautiful,
like the dust of grace from
i drink a little faster and
cry a little harder
because the way whiskey and tears
mingle on my lips
tastes suspiciously of love.
I Don't Miss AdolescenceMy sister calls to ask me if I'll do her makeup;
Mami promised that she would, but she's tired
and screamed when Maria reminded her senior prom
is tonight. She says, "I have a hickey on my neck,
something she doesn't want to cover, and you've always
done a better job of highlighting the subtle graces
inherent to my bone structure, the angles we share."
I say, "That's okay, but I can't pick you up,"
so she arrives in a flourish of exasperations,
telling me all the family business, waving her nails
in my face and talking about the pain of her extensions.
She says, "Do you think we need yellow concealer?
I plan to take pictures, and the last
The HourglassWatch the hands go round and round.
Ahhhh, how long have I been sitting here,
Listening to the grandfather clock?
Watching him ticking away?
Watching the polished wood yellow and rot?
And with every sound he makes
More maggots eat his wooden flesh.
Every grain that falls is an eternity!
In the firelight you can see the glass.
The dust that coats the cracking bulb,
Listening to the sand that trickles down.
Listening to the passing hours.
With every grain that filters through
Another man sleeps eternally.
The sundial stands defiant!
From my leather chair I see it!
It stands defiant in the plaza below me!
Standing in the moonlit night.
7 - The Pet PoetI remember when Mommy bought you
a black-haired pet for your sweet sixteenth.
Its bronze collar said its name was "Poet."
You fed it noise from the out-of-tune piano,
intense moments involving flesh and razors,
and the occasional walk by the lake.
At first, he knew only the wolf's howl,
purging blood and flames onto the carpets.
Everywhere was a smell of extravagance --
like that woman's cheap perfume on the train to work.
But you cried a little less,
smiled a bit more.
And that was when Daddy stopped
trying to send it back to the shelter.
Soon, you even started watching T.V.
(and enjoyed food, dressed nice, made friends.)
Onyx DreamsOnyx Dreams
Fluctuations of sound waves vibrate the floor,
While the lights of my room glow brilliantly,
But as time winds down and my energy starts its decline,
My vision gets blurry and listening becomes hearing,
And hearing becomes simple background noise,
While Palaceer Lazaro’s words become filmy intonations
Yet, still creating a motion picture full of abstract images,
In my mind full of words and phrases that do nothing but stay stagnant,
And Slumber begins to wrap her warm hands around my head,
As she sweetly begins to pull me into black depths of rest,
A state of unconsciousness that will take me on a journey,
Through the grey abyss we call the center of our nervous system,
And once I fall into the pit of nothingness, the pit of onyx, for those few hours,
I will transform into an atramentous being with aphotic wings,
Because “black is free……..”
Smoker's EpiphanySlipping through a puff of smoke
exaggerated wisps slipping through my subconscious
and I am emptier than before, less than I was
something subtle and hearty
smoothened and soothing
it's almost relief
Equestrian StormEquestrian Storm
I was walking through Canterlot,
as rain beat my plot.
I just didn’t feel right,
before it came into my sight.
The princess of the night,
alone and broken.
What a pitiful sight,
out of my slump, twas awoken.
“Princess, why are you here why are you crying?”
“Because nopony loves our night, I would be better off dying!”
“No Luna no, now that you shouldn’t say!”
“And why ever not, what reason hath you that I should stay?”
“Celestia for one, your sister whom you love.”
“Right sure, the sister from whom to the moon I was shoved.”
DilemmaToday in class
You moved to sit beside me
And my heart missed
Your friends followed,
All sitting nearby
And I sat in silence
Afraid of being judged
The presentation started
And I tried not to look at you
But instead peeked
From the corners of my eyes
The presenters spoke
And I tried to focus
On the droning voice
But you invaded my thoughts
What we had talked about last night,
What I should say to you,
How I should instigate the conversation,
If we were to have one at all
I peek over
And you look miserable
Sick, I remember,
And feel an instant sympathy
And fear of being judged
By those around me
Keeps me silent
All Systems are Shutting DownI shut down
Kicking everyone out
I sit alone inside myself, while other pieces of me close the gates around my heart
And lock the door to my brain
I refuse to let anyone in; I pretend I’m not home
“Please leave your message after the beep…”
“Where are you?”
I don’t know.
“Are you okay?”
I don’t know.
“When are you gonna let me in?”
I don’t know.
No wordsI don't like to talk.
I feel that words cannot truly express what I feel.
When I am filled with emotion, I can find no word that can express what I feel to the fullest.
There is no word beautiful enough to describe this joy, no word horrible enough to describe this hate, no word ugly enough to describe this miserable existence.
nothing specialthey tell you not to give up
because you have potential--
and to the ones who simply enjoy
you're probably fantastic
but to those who do
you're simply mediocre,
nothing to bat an
you're not quite bad enough
to quit, but you're not
great enough to be
a small dosage per daysorrow makes its way into my cup of tea every morning
and I add more spoonfuls of sugar into it,
hoping the sweetness will overpower the bitterness;
yet, this clever feeling still seeps through the sweet substance
and clings itself to the sugar's particles,
which in return races through my veins
and scatters in my blood,
making an entire day feel ruined
Never open the window... Never open the window...
I see you're here.
Pay attention, don't fall. It's dark.
What? No, I don't want to light up the room. Yeah, nor open the window. It's useless.
And actually, the only light I need...
...is that one that is so distant for me.
She asked me why I was saying that.
But best of all, I knew that actually she didn't care
I saw too much faces ready to wipe away all my tears and all my fears
But best of all, I know that actually they didn't care.
Seems like destiny put me in this world to help others.
Oh, I'm tired, but I won't show you.
it has been four years, right?
Four years that I'm holding all of you on my shoul
Take this pain
Not a peep
Watch me die
Don't you cry
The hate you feel
Lies in thy
Poem- HalloweenThe day of the sickening
The evil is thickening
The day for the weak
The feeling so bleak
The day that celebrate
We dare not to hesitate
We wear the mask on our head
To remember the dead
The day that they haunt
Us they all taunt
Our souls they fray
For one night they stay
The streets we lurk
The feeling we erk
The costumes we wear
Are all ment to scare
There is no submission
No weary inquisition
We hide behind the mask
Invisible,no questions to ask
The time of night
The time we bring fright
When we mock the dead
The candy we are fed
Poem- DamnedDamned if i do
Damned if i dont
Damned for all you do
Damned for all you wont
Damned for your burdened sickness
Damned for your sad ass thickness
Damned for all i will
Damned for you being so shrill
Damned being me
Damned for all i see
Damned for Being a fucked up wreck
Damned for wanting to hang by my neck
Damned for what i believe
Damned for all ive achieved
Damned for this pain
Damned for being insane
Damned for all your sadness
Damned for any gladness
Damned for all this weakness
All this fucking freakishness
Damned with all this hate
Damned to this wicked fate
Damned to consume
Forever to resume
Poem- RainThe dark side to a day
Cold and wet
Coaxes me to sleep
The silent patter
Against my window
So sweet and innocent
My tender lullaby
In this desert land
Yet warm in my soul
Yet so bright
Your appearance so vague
You never sees to disappoint
You are my Ecstasy
My ultimate high
My everlasting happiness
You cover the sun
Camouflage the sky
Brighten my day
Thy name is rain
Poem- I HateI hate love songs
I hate "so longs"
I hate your smirks
Your Fucked up little quirks
I hate your happiness
Your stupid fucking sappiness
Everything that you are
I hate your face
Dont care about your race
You make me sick
I hate your smile
Your worthless fucking guile
I hate your guts
You worthless fucking puts
I hate this shit
Murderous raging fit
I hate this fucking soul
Death is my only goal
I hate this game
The solitude i claim
I hate everything i do
But most of all i hate you
Poem- Dear GodDear God are you there
Ive been looking for you everywhere
Calling for you
Longing for you
I am in a funk
My heart it has sunk
Can you hear me
Or can you not see me
Am i lost in the crowd
Am i not screaming aloud
Im lost and forlorn
Terrified and unborn
I need you now
I ask for you
To answer me how
Can this pain linger through
I sink lower and lower
everyday i must pay
My life has gone array
And it begins every day
Its not over some girl
Its my head is beginning to swirl
Im lost im stuck
Who cares anyways you probably dont give a fuck
I ask for guidance
For a new tomorrow
For time i wont have to borrow
Poem- EyesMy Eyes are not one to lie
Pure with each lasting cry
My eyes are some of few
They are the few that are true
They see straight through
Everything,Everyone,And especially you
My eyes can pierce through your souls
Make you feel like walking on hot coals
I can neither see or be blind
My eyes leave everything behind
Showing me who can be kind
And all who have a tainted mind
My Eyes are blind can still see
All the evils inside thee
They can feel all of your hate
Every emotion, all of it irate
My eyes will show you something sweet
The radiant pupils you wish to eat
My eyes are something that are found
To this body they are boun
Keep in Touch!
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More